In a sweet blend of fan service and meta-commentary on American politics, South Park brought back Tweek and Craig (aka Creek), two fan-favorite supporting players who haven’t had the spotlight on Comedy Central’s long-running animated hit in years, for “We Be Clubbin’,” the penultimate episode of season 29. The series has been parodying the trends and idiosyncrasies of modern life for decades, and this week’s targets are club sports, performative parenting and Heated Rivalry.
The episode opens with a school assembly led by Mr. Garrison, who nods to the episode’s subtle political commentary by mentioning the blue wave that cost Republicans their congressional majorities last week. He then introduces PC Principal, who seems to have dropped his MAGA vibe for the pseudo-liberal party-guy vibe we know and love, celebrating the Democrats’ victory with a shout of “We’re back.” Before PC Principal’s lengthy dance routine, Garrison, in another bit of meta comedy, gives a quick nod to this season’s lack of President Donald Trump, who was a central player in the show’s prior two seasons.
“I know you’ve all heard about the midterms and the severe beating our president took,” he announces. “And of course we could just go on and on and make a bunch of jokes about him, but it’s no fun punching down on a helpless loser.”
Garrison’s brief mention of gay students at South America Elementary reminds Eric Cartman, the tireless romantic, that it’s Tweek and Craig’s anniversary. Tweek has noticed too. When he brings it up with his frequently absent boyfriend and gets an utter lack of enthusiasm (or recollection), he hatches a plan to get more Craig time: He convinces his parents to let him try out for youth club sports, an endeavor that soon eats up all of the boy’s and his parents’ time and money.
Tweek’s tryout for club sports, the all-consuming and costly circuit of nonspecific sporting extracurriculars, is the first red flag that he and his parents are being swindled.
“School sports are fine, but they only take a child so far. That’s why it’s great to hear you might want to join club sports,” the portly shyster representing Sacks, formerly Cumhammer, tells the Tweaks. “Now, have you got that $26 tryout fee?”
The fees only snowball for the Tweak family as the big, bossy Sacks rep sends them to Boulder, Fort Collins and all around the state for vague sporting events, with growing charges for parking, for spectating and, of course, for the bar tab at each event, where drafts on tap go for $14. The bar is where club sports parents unload on one another about how “exhausting” it is to be club sports parents, though they could never let their precious kids be “left behind,” whatever that actually means.
“Oh, you’re so lucky!” one mother gushes. “You only have one kid. We spent the week getting up at two in the morning to get our three kids to 50 different cities and stay in nine hotel rooms at the same time!”
Meanwhile, on courts across Colorado, our over-caffeinated friend is stuck in the lower league, away from his beloved Craig. Tweek grows more and more frustrated about not seeing him, but there’s no time to dwell, because it’s off with his parents again. Only when the unnamed club sports swindler realizes that Tweek and Craig are a gay couple are both boosted to the Triple-A league together, and the inevitable nods to the hit HBO Max series Heated Rivalry arrive. Naturally, this is far worse for Tweek and Craig, since it eats up all of their time (all of it). But it’s a glow-up for Tweek’s parents in the spectators’ bar, where they now get to lord it over everyone in the backhanded bragging game with the busiest schedule of all.
Soon, the scheme Tweek hatched at the start of the episode over a sad solo anniversary Slurpee finally starts to work. He’s spending at least some time with Craig amid their packed club sports schedules, though it’s starting to drive the eternally stoic Craig a bit batty. Tweek, who delivers an A+ Craig impression here, asks him why he needs to fill his life with club sports and gets the Sacks shyster’s spiel parroted back at him: You’ll be left behind, you won’t get into college and so on. Suddenly, amid a Tweek-style freak-out (complete with hat-pulling), it hits Craig: He forgot their anniversary.
The episode ends on a happy note, as Tweek gets Craig to affirm their relationship and how happy his blond tweeker makes him. In classic Tweek style, he brings the episode’s political commentary into focus with a simple explanation for his beloved boyfriend.
“You got swindled by a fat con man that played into your anxieties, and that played into mine,” he says, succinctly.
With that, both boys ditch club sports to sit and enjoy Slurpees together, one red and one blue, as Peter Gabriel’s “Love Can Heal” plays over the credits.